New Years/Fears/Careers Nears


EDIT: It is now June of 2011 and things are already drastically different. Oh life and it’s wonder.

The end of 2010 comes with the realization of all I am so soon to leave behind, and probably, nonsensically, even sooner to miss. However, I am also reminded of all that I am leaving behind, forever stuck in 2010, that will lead me to a bright and shiny 2011. Firstly, here’s to you and how hard we tried. Thank you for all the times you made me laugh so hard- you always could, thank you for trying your damnedest to teach me how to do algebra, and, above all, thank you for showing me who I am by illuminating to me who I am not. I’m sorry I never got you that ice tray. I’m sorry I was not cut for you anymore- believe me that I wanted to be. I’m sorry I’m posting this on my blog instead of saying it to you directly. I only want to respect your wishes. I wish you only the happiest of things. Secondly, to you whom I have hardly encountered but have been so very directly effected by: I will not be effected by you anymore. So there. Thirdly, to thirteen semesters of living in a tiny, intellectually-stunting, prudish society where money reigns high and the most variety you’ll find is located in the snack machine, I am onto much bigger (and most assuredly better) things. Though I appreciate the safety net I have been wrapped up in, I am more than ready to move on and make my very own life from scratch. Thirteen semesters down. One to go.

And for what will come in 2011, here is to the mystery of what is to come, and what has already been set. To the boy in the leather jacket who has never left my side, the kid in the polo who I know will never judge me, and the lady in the cardigan who has always been my own personal therapist: Thank you for being exactly what I need in my life in your own, unique ways, for never failing to illustrate the way a friendship should be, and even for putting me in my place when I needed it. Though we are all heading separate ways in 2011, know that none of you could ever be replaced and that I will always love you dearly. As well, thank you to the people (most of which share the same last name as I, though two have decided to take other ones) who have always been and will always be there for me. No matter where I am off to, I owe it to you for making me who I am. Thank you for pushing me towards something bigger with your constant support and faith in me. I love you all forever.

My letting go now will only lead to my later gain. Here’s to the beginning of a new start.

There’s a great, big, beautiful, tomorrow shining at the end of every day

and tomorrow is just a dream away.


2 Comments to “New Years/Fears/Careers Nears”

  1. this is perfect. youre perfect. love you! 🙂

  2. I can say in earnest that I read that whole post. The length gives it a daunting appearance so that was no small test of my determination and a testament to the post’s quality. You seem like a very mature person for you age and I wish you the best in all future endeavors. It’s a profound time, the start of the new year, and it seems you have appropriately used it to reflect on all that matters most to you. This is an important thing to do every once in a while, Lauren, to count your blessings. Never forget it and your pursuit of happiness in this life will not be fruitless.

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